A GREAT DISTURBANCE IN THE FORCE

I'm having a little moment. Something is not right and I don't know what it is. My heart is pumping and I feel awkward as though I need to have a sit down... but I'm already sitting down and that doesn't seem to be helping.

The Stress Monitor card says 'green' which is 'normal' but I don't think it is because most of the time it's 'normally' blue. So clearly, I'm a bit stressed, worried, panicking about... something. That can't be 'normal'...

Oh pull yourself together. That's what they say isn't it? Alright. I'll grab one end of me, then I'll grab the other end of me and start folding and tugging and pulling and squashing until I'm 'together' and that'll be great, will it?

I doubt it too. If I could just figure out what it is that's making me feel like Obi Wan sensing a 'great disturbance' in the Force... maybe that would be OK, you know, a way to tell myself that it will all be alright.

There's another little voice in here too. It's telling me I shouldn't be writing about these things. You can't let them see you having a bad day, it whispers. But I want everything to be real. I'm not an actor, performing for everyone who knows me! This isn't supposed to be a polished monologue that you could launch into on a stage somewhere - it's supposed to be real, and the reality of the moment, the now (whether you care or not) is that I'm feeling a bit anxious.

The script says:

Ben rubs his forehead. He seems to drift into a trance. Then he fixes his gaze on Luke.

Ben: You'd better get on with your exercises.

Han Solo enters the room.

Han: Well, you can forget your troubles with those Imperial slugs. I told you I'd outrun 'em.

Luke is once again practicing with the lightsaber.

Han: Don't everyone thank me at once.

Meanwhile of course, Alderaan is no more - blown to pieces by the Death Star. It's all about perspective this, isn't it? I might go for a quick wander round the lake.

Han: It's all a lot of simple tricks and nonsense.

Ben smiles quietly.