There's no doubt that cats are deviously clever at finding ways to be at the centre of the universe. Have you seen the Internet? 'Treated as gods in Ancient Egypt,' someone once said, 'and they've never forgotten it.'
Recently though, I've started wondering whether dogs are one step ahead of cats and are simply smart enough to keep shtum. It makes for a happier life - after all, cats scratch and hiss and claw and scream when they don't get their way - yet they're adorable wide-eyed fluffballs when they do. What if dogs worked this out years ago and have just decided to keep the peace?
If so, it means both dogs and cats are living in a world where they both think they've got one up on the other. The cats prowl around thinking that dogs are so stupid that they can't possibly understand what they know, or appreciate the finer tastes of feline fancy; meanwhile dogs, smile to themselves, knowing that if anyone ever broke into the house, there would be no doubt about which of them would scarper under the table, and which of them would try and rugby tackle a burglar.
This provides a rather elegant equilibrium, don't you think? By not complaining, by pretending to be hopelessly enthusiastic about everything and not quite in control of their faculties, dogs create a sort of comfort zone for cats to feel like the real rulers of the galaxy. How splendid, the cats say to themselves in the middle of a lick, to be overlords of the canine cretins.
Meanwhile, the dogs exchange the tiniest of glances.
'Do you think we'll get to play stick?' asks one. 'I love stick, it really gets me thinking about the nature of life as an ultimately futile construct of pursuit and reward.'
'Don't forget to pretend you've lost it,' says another, 'You know just in case they're watching.'
No comments:
Post a Comment