Sarah told me I should try Oats So Simple. My porridge consistency woes would be over.
After all, what could be easier than adding oats to a bowl, using the packet to measure the correct amount of milk, and then blasting it in the microwave for 2 minutes?
I gave it a go at work. Attempt number one resulted in me fetching a mop and cleaning spilled milk out from under the kitchen cupboards. Oats so simple indeed! I started to wonder whether it was a devious plot invented by the Quakers to undermine our dependence on modern technology. Anyway, someone came in, swinging an empty coffee cup and whistling. He took one look at me, chuckled and then said:
"Well it's no use crying..."
I really despise kitchen-banter sometimes.
Attempts number two and three (put the packet in an empty cup before pouring the milk into it) resulted in (1) milky fingers and (2) a bowl of porridge that was hotter than the sun.
What's more, having stirred it and left it, it's still gone rubbery. Plus it's supposed to be strawberry jam flavour, but it tastes like it only just about remembers what a strawberry is. I'm always a little bit dubious about anything you can't really eat without adding other stuff to to make it taste nicer. I'm thinking of you, Weetabix.
It's tricky to wash up too, without the aid of some industrial scouring pads. Forget the gym - for real biceps, try cleaning out porridge bowls every morning. You could even throw in some day-old scrambled egg pans, you know, for the full Schwarzenegger.
So, I think I just need to add in a little more milk than the packet suggests - and then maybe scoop in some actual jam or honey or something. Or maybe just stick with toast.
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