IT ALL KICKS OFF AT THE ZOO

I grabbed a pen, flipped open my book and started to write while the meeting degenerated into a soap opera.

I read somewhere that it's a useful tip in meetings when you're trying to control any emotional responses - grab a notebook and start writing, anything, as though you were taking notes. Not only does it calm you down, but it also looks like you're studiously paying attention. Meanwhile the volcanic shouting (not at me) continued. There are a couple of things about arguments I've noticed that are quite important.

One is that angry people are almost always angriest with themselves, underneath it all. There'll be some reason why they're blowing up like Vesuvius but it's not always the reason they're locking onto. That's a smokescreen.

The other is that shouters can't listen while they're shouting, sometimes because listening prevents them from venting and venting diffuses the inward insecurity, but mostly because no-one else is saying anything and their own mouth is in free-fall. Bellowing rarely accomplishes anything but it does certainly change the atmosphere.

I looked back at my notebook later and had a reminder of what I had written:

Lion
Bear
Cat
Sea lion
Meerkat
Owl
Mouse

It's an interesting collection of characters. From the Lion who roars when poked by the Cat, then sulks in the corner, brooding dangerously, to the Owl and the Bear who try mediating with logic and learning while the Sea lion applauds everything insanely; the world is made up of lots of different people, a lot of them in meetings with each other.

I know what you're thinking. The answer (though I'd really rather it isn't) is Mouse. How do I know? Industrially scribbling in my notebook while Armageddon kicked off round the table.

Eek eek.