I got home from choir as the sky faded into dusk. Long trails of purple cloud stretched above the trees and the first few stars were twinkling between them.
I unlocked my door, threw my bags inside and headed out into the park.
Choir had been good. For the first time ever, we got through five pieces with fifteen minutes to spare. Even Betty had been on top form:
"Were your ears burning earlier?" she said, leaning on her zimmer frame.
"Have you been talking about me again, Betty?" I asked, smiling.
"You're part of my therapy now," she replied with a twinkle, "Music, you see? Helps with the old-timers' disease... apparently."
I don't think it's called that, but I did smile. I suddenly got the feeling that somehow I was making a difference to somebody after all. There are few better things to feel.
The grass was knee high. I waded through it, pushing my way toward the bench that overlooks the valley. There was no-one else in the park. The moonlight caught the edges of the empty play area, painting silver strands across the wood and plastic, glinting from the metal of the slide. Night time makes everything more beautiful, it seems.
I sat there for ages, watching the world slowly merge into the colourless shades of night.
It is still hard to contemplate the speed at which things are changing. In some ways, it feels like being inside a storm without any idea how big it is. To know that, you'd have to be outside it, or be able to run faster than it, or live in a time after it. I don't yet have the distance to describe this, nor would I want to. There's a beautiful hopelessness about that.
I also have a fear that this season might just ask me for more energy than I can give. I told my Mum that I'd been living off ready-meals and she made the worried-disappointed face that only mums have perfected. The tension between being sensible and living off a thermal is probably not going to dissipate.
The trees shivered. I checked my phone and realised I had 1% battery left. I took that as a sign that I probably ought to go home and recharge.
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