EARLY THINKING

I think I've reached the point where it's pointless trying to go to sleep. The curtains are light, the birds are chirpy and there's only an hour left before the alarm clock goes off.

I tried my usual tricks. I remembered capital cities beginning with letters of the alphabet (except I and X) and I had a glass of milk at around 3:30. I remain awake.

It's my mind again. One thousand miles an hour. I've often thought that the faster you think, the slower you appear to be. That probably explains my blank-confused look in meetings. I'm not saying I'm super-clever by the way; if I were I would have figured out how to slow it down and control it, rather than letting my thoughts race off into hyperspace.

What I mean is that we're limited by how quickly we can express things. And in meetings particularly, my mouth never catches up with my head. In fact, it lags behind others because I can't think at that speed and listen at the same time. So I am inarticulate and slow sometimes, due to the phase delay. My brain is at n+5, my words are coming out at n-1.

None of this explains why I've been awake all night though. That's to do with the volume of thoughts to be analysed, if anything. And there are a few worries and unlikely dreams thrown there too.

Today is going to be a long, tough day. Maybe though my brain will conk out long enough and the world will be kind enough to leave me in my headphones, where I don't have to think too much or do too much stuff.

I sighed when I wrote that. You know how this works out, don't you?

I think the sun is up. Perhaps things will be clearer for me by the time it goes down again. Maybe my dreams will take flight today.

Well, I'll have to sleep before I can have them I suppose.