WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

It happened again yesterday. I ran into someone I haven't seen for years; an older lady I remember from church in days gone by.

Here's how she began:

"Matt! You've gone grey!"

My heart stopped a bit while that sank in. I smiled weakly, she covered her tracks in that embarrassed way we Brits sometimes do when we ramble ourselves out of awkward conversations.

"Well I mean, it's okay, after all, so have I and anyway, it happens to the..."

"She hides her greys," said her husband, trying to be helpful in one way and probably making it much worse in another. I was already too late to say it was 'just wisdom' and in any case my brain was checking my history and wouldn't let me use that excuse.

In a fluster, she carried on, asked about my parents and then went with, "So, are you married yet? Any kids?"

"Me? No," I said, with a shake of the head.

"Well what are you waiting for?"

My insides exploded like a supernova. What a question! I held it in. I smiled coolly and didn't know what to say while I swirled and boiled internally. She'd made it sound like you could just nip down to the shop and pick up a family while you're there; not only that but that that simple procurement was what was wholly expected of me, by her, by society, by everybody! And not only that but also, guess what, tick tick tick... I am running out of time and my silver highlights are indications that soon it will be too late and I'm already close to old and lonely so I'd better get a move on.

So it happened again. It won't be the last time. I smiled and loved her, blinking away the furious tears. She was well-intentioned after all, and I'm not in the habit of blowing up in people's faces. In any case, what her heart was asking was whether or not I was happy in my life. Her perception and conditioning had filtered that out, but that was genuinely what she meant, I think.

And that's a different question altogether, isn't it?