Some are quite peculiar. The Cherry Tree Carol for example tells the story of Joseph flying off the handle when Mary tells him she's pregnant, in the middle of a cherry orchard.
It all works out okay though because the unborn Jesus makes the cherry tree bend down to Mary, and this (I don't know how) convinces Joseph that everything will be alright.
It has the line:
Then Joseph flew in anger, in anger he flew:
"O let the father of the baby gather cherries for you."
... which (although totally contradictory to the Bible account) is probably a more real exposition of human nature than the likelihood of a newborn baby sleeping in heavenly peace in the middle of a farmyard.
Then there are the slightly macabre and surreal additions to the carol book, like Down in Yon Forest, which (I think) describes Mary's waters breaking. Past Three O'Clock meanwhile asserts that the wise men brought with them...
cheese from the dairy, given unto Mary.
I was always told they came from the East Country, not the West! Cheese indeed. Though, let's be honest, cheese is awesome, and I have to admit, a bit more useful than gold, frankincense or myrrh.
In The Friendly Beasts, some talking animals natter about what they gave the baby as gifts of their own expense, and in Adam Lay Bounden, the carol-writer takes the extraordinary theological step of actually thanking God for the Fall... so that Mary (in this case the 'Queen of Heaven') could bring redemption in the form of carrying Jesus.
Another less well-known carol from the Fifteenth Century encourages something which most people will not need help with, in its final verse:
Drink you all right heartily,
Make good cheer and be right merry,
And sing with us now joyfully...
- Sir Christmas, Rev. Richard Smart (or Smerte), Rector (1435-1477)
I don't think that's one for the Methodists' annual Carols Round the Piano evening.
Honourable mentions go to Thy Dear Cheeks My Child are Rosy Red... which talks about the baby Jesus's dimples and 'heavenly blue eyes' (seems unlikely doesn't it). Oh and of course, The Weather Carol which introduces a wife of one of the shepherds with the quite charming description...
Now the wife is shaking
Like a coughing cow
Crying disappointed
Tears to rust a plow
We're far away from O Come All Ye Faithful, here, folks. In fact, we're beyond the suburbs of 'It Came Upon a Midnight Clear' and 'See Amid the Winter's Snow'. We're out through the cold country lanes of The Coventry Carol where frost bedecks the hedgerows and robins dart from brittle branches. We're way past In the Bleak Midwinter and As with Gladness. We're in the realm of forgotten carols that most of us have never heard of. That's where these old folk songs live - flickering out here in the sticks.
There are a few delightful ones though. The Boar's Head Carol is a bit more well-known, and I rather like how it sort of combines the idea of celebration, a piping hot dish on a winter's night, all served in song, 'in honour of the King of Bliss'. Or rather more succinctly put:
Caput apri defero (The boar's head I offer)
Reddens laudes Domino (Giving praises to the Lord)
That's more like it.
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