EAR DRUMS

My ear is still pounding. That's more than a week now, so it's off to the doctor's for me.

It sounds like someone playing the timpani underwater - like a boom and a swoosh combined, thumping along with every heartbeat. Swoom, boosh, swoom, boosh, swoom, boosh...

You don't often get to hear your own heartbeat like this. I can confirm that I am still alive I guess, which is a bonus. At the moment it's playing at about 70 bpm, which I suppose is about right for a sedentary person trying to listen to their own heartbeat.

I expect the doctor will prescribe antibiotics. That's how this normally goes: he looks in with his cold, bright, angled lamp, makes a comment about how much gunk there is in there and then scribbles out a ticket for amoxicillin.

"Thank you doctor," will say I, spinning for the door.

It's like the drums of Mordor, or maybe the foundry at Isengard or something - distant muffled thumping, a kind of warning of far away danger.

The thing is I'm fed up with being ill. It's been about two weeks now. I could really do without it.

I'm making the call.

---

"All of our receptionists are still busy. You are still in the queue and your queue position is number... 3."

---

I saw a video today of idiots behaving badly on a train. It made me feel sad for their parents.

What really struck me though was the way that alcohol had curled their faces into spiteful, angular shapes while they shouted obscenities at each other. Girls who grew up wanting to be Disney princesses (no doubt) were flashing lightning bolts and narrowed eyes around the carriage like Ursula and Maleficent. That was a sad thought to me. I thought about that old Roald Dahl quote so I looked it up:

“If a person has ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face. And when that person has ugly thoughts every day, every week, every year, the face gets uglier and uglier until you can hardly bear to look at it.

A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts it will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.”

Roald Dahl - The Twits

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"All of our receptionists are still busy. You are still in the queue and your queue position is number... 2."

---

I tell you what, I'd take an ear infection for the rest of my days if it were a choice between that and being on that train. At the end of the video, the noise cuts to silence and two police officers are standing by the luggage rack. The children are sheepishly silent, eyes darting between them. I sighed with a kind of weariness with the world and closed the clip.

---

"Yes! hello! Can I make an appointment please?"

"Yes, what's your date of birth?"

I told her.

"And is it with the doctor or nurse?"

"Um... doctor I think."

"Will any doctor do?"

"I suppose so."

"Right. I can do 4:30pm on March 8th."

I rolled my eyes a bit. Pleasant thoughts though Matt, pleasant thoughts.

"Okay, can the nurse help? It's just that I think I have an ear infection and it'll just get worse if I leave..."

"Sure, how about 9:30 tomorrow morning?"

"Perfect. Thanks."

I clicked the phone off and sat here for a while, listening to the pulsating drums of my inner ear. It could be a lot worse.