SOAPBOX

What's that scraping sound?

Oh don't worry about that; it's just Matt.

What's he doing?

He's dragging his soapbox over.

Ah, I see. What, again?

Well it is that time of year...

Oh goody. What'll it be this time? Valentinus was beaten with sticks and decapitated? Commercial hogwash that nobody really likes but we all feel we have to go along with? Singling out a day for romance as detriment to healthy relationships?

Yes, probably all of that. I reckon he'll go on about how there should be a day for single people, this year.

Most likely. It's been a few years since he went on about that.

It wouldn't work though, would it?

What?

A day for single people. I mean it'd be like sending cards to the people whom society considers losers. There'd be all sorts of ironic greetings like 'Sorry you haven't found happiness yet' and 'Another year, still half-a-person...' I mean that kind of thing would just make people angry, wouldn't it?

It won't stop him going on about it.

Well he hasn't thought it through, that's all I'm saying. After all, that idea just exacerbates the existing problem of dividing the world into the romantically coupled and the misfortunate singletons. And the world isn't as... pink and white as that, is it? After all, it is quite possible to be single and happy. Creating a day to celebrate singleness would be an awful way to make people feel even more lonely than they are already, splitting humanity into two simple groups and proclaiming from the rooftops that each is better than the other. Unless they're not lonely, or unhappy of course, in which case, what on earth would be the point? And therefore what's the point of the day in the first place, other than to refresh the frankly bizarre view that being in a relationship actually equates to some sort of ethereal happiness? Get on with your life, that's what I say - married, single, happy, unhappy, in love, out of love, can't be bothered, whatever. Life's more than all that.

I don't think he'll be needing that soapbox.

Fair enough.