SIDEWAYS RAIN

I keep asking myself how I'm feeling, and never being sure of the answer.

I'm alright, I guess. A couple of sleepless nights this week, and all the usual battles and fears.

I dislike that they are 'usual', those battles and fears. Nonetheless, I stared once again at the cracks in the pavement as I walked along, swiping away thought after thought.

"You're old," bosh.

"It's all about young people now and you missed it." thwack.

"Just look at yourself in the m..." boom.

Every step was heavy, every decision not to listen was hard. And harder still, knowing that I've been here before.

It's raining today. It's raining kind-of sideways, which is about right. Sideways rain doesn't have the decency to tap you on the shoulder; it just blows drizzle into your face.

So, anyway. Positive news.

I'm drinking a peppermint ... um... 'herbal infusion'...

Yes. I have a sore throat and I thought it might help. So far it's made my lips taste of toothpaste.

What else? The Intrepids are planning a World Cruise. That's nice. Although my Mum is convinced that President Business will either try blowing up the planet or will be impeached by April the 1st. They're not the wagering type so I left it there.

The Niblings are round for Half-Term. We had the obligatory quiz:

"Star Wars but no planets."

"Entertainment!"

"Doctor Who!"

I drummed up some questions from somewhere in the back of my mind. True, Star Wars but no Planets was much easier to make a quiz out of than the other two subjects.

Ben stood up in his chair at one point and told us all he was floating off into space.

My Mum looked exhausted.

I told him that the anti-gravity engine had failed and the chair was pulling him back to earth. It worked for about twenty six seconds.

-

I don't think those things have to be 'usual'. I don't think that they should be. Yet there are a few of us out there, fending off our enemies in silence, pushing through the sideways rain and hoping for sunshine.

It's thoughts like that that keep me going, I guess. And we need that don't we?