THE TETCH STANDOFF

I'm tetchy today. Unfortunately, I'm not exactly skilled in the blunt-speaking, take-no-prisoners approach, and, rather than being shocked or quietly impressed, the rest of the world is reacting by being tetchy with me too. And who could blame them?

Years ago, I shouted at someone down the phone out of pure frustration. It ended with me being told off (in no uncertain terms) for getting 'emotional'. And that was weird because the whole thing had been about tablecloths.

So my solution to this tetch-based standoff, is to say as little possible to anyone. Isolation, I guess: sealing myself off like a nuclear reactor, quietly seething in the corner.

But that doesn't really help. It just creates a surly atmosphere. And people are sensitive to that, as though we've all got built in Geiger-counters. Anyone who's walked into a room after an argument knows exactly what I'm talking about.

So how do you de-tetchify yourself? How do you crack open a seal and safely vent your radioactive waste without risking a Fukushima in your own vicinity?

I don't know. I took my niece to McDonald's (as a treat for her doing something nice) and wound her up a bit by pretending to be a vicar. Then I went home and walked through the park before the sun set. It helped a bit but I still feel irascible. I am a hedgehog tonight, if I am anything, scuffling through the long grass.

It hasn't escaped my notice that this is mostly about my own insecurity again. Everything feels like an attack so I defend. But I don't need to; I need to let go, I need to release it, and chill out about who I am and who I'm not. 

Ah sorry, world. I need to be more thankful I reckon. And probably hold things much more lightly.