Reading Prince Harry’s book, Spare, the other day has been enlightening. I don’t want to talk about the details - about a million people have already raked them over - but one thing has definitely occurred to me as a result of the tell-all, and that is that humans are not designed to hold onto anger.
It’s not a theory backed up with any evidence or discipline; I’m no psychologist. It’s more of an observation. A person consumed with unresolved anger always seems to have a hard time containing it, and whether they’re princes in palaces or part-time poets, that particular raw emotion seems to come spilling out sooner or later. And it can be torrential for the closest bystanders.
I don’t want to be an angry person. Oh, I know for some it helps them focus, gives them fire and drive, and I’m all for channeling passion - it’s just that I’d rather keep any flames of fury under control in the grate, instead of throwing burning logs at people in the living room. There has to be a way to master it.
What I would like is to have a soft heart. It isn’t a push-over heart or a wimp-out-of-conflict heart; it’s more about listening and embracing and forgiving. It sounds woolly doesn’t it? Not much use for warring brothers in high castles. Frequently in the book, I’ve slid my bookmark between the pages and wondered how on earth I’d advise them if for some reason they asked me. I’d have an easier time with budgies trapped in gilded cages I think, but I’d hope at least I’d tell them about anger corroding from the inside out and how it’s best to deal with it quickly and in short accounts - rather like venting a pressurised volcano.
As I said though, I’m no psychologist. Just someone recognising things I need to deal with in myself, and seeing that left to its own devices, an angry heart is just a forest fire waiting to happen.
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