INTO THE SUNSET

I’ve been thinking for a while about couples I used to know, who have broken up. I’m talking about work colleagues, or friends from a long time ago, people who left me together, and now, for whatever reason, aren’t.

It’s sad, isn’t it? I mean the end of any relationship is sad, I think, but specifically it’s sad when you’ve got this picture in your mind of how happy and matched and loved-up they were, and suddenly social media tells you - often by your own inference - that they are so no longer. And you’ve not been around for any of that winding journey into the sunset. You’ve lost touch, and so have they.

There are loads of things to say. One thing is that every relationship ends one way or the other, and in my mind that makes the longest-term, committed ones the best because they end with happy lives lived. By extension, marriage is the finest way to do it, but I also appreciate that that’s not everyone’s experience.

That being said, my guess is that all relationships begin with at least a sparkle of hope that they’ll go on forever? So there is probably something in my theory.

Another thing to say is that relationships cause others to be invested in us. I really liked (let’s call them ‘Scott’ and ‘Amy’) Scott and Amy because they were cute. They gave me hope, and joy, and it was fun being around them. I felt I was part of their story.

Scott updating his instagram to show that he now travels the world without her, that he’s spiralling into alcohol abuse and surrounding himself with what look to be very unhelpful ‘bros’ - is less than I’d wished for. Amy unfollowing Scott and then unfollowing me seems like a kind of silent shutting of the book I had been reading. Though I get it Amy, and I don’t blame you at all.

I don’t think this train of thought was intended to be some sort of youth-pastor message by the way; I don’t think relationship counselling can be in my wheelhouse. It’s just interesting to me how this particular kind of sadness leads me to the heart of why I think we’re designed for eternity - relationship that lasts forever is probably encoded somehow in all our DNA. And I think marriage is the best expression of that we’ve got.

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I just read this whole thing out to Sammy. She reached across and grabbed my hand, looking at me with eyes sparkling. I smiled back, thinking about how beautiful it is to be loved.