"I have no idea," I said, suddenly realising that everyone else had gone to bed, one-by-one. I still maintain that if going to sleep is preferable to watching a film, it's harder to admit that the film is any good.
I have tried today to flip out of introvert mode and into extrovert again. I at least tried. It is so difficult. I keep hearing my Dad thinking up things to say inside my head and I can't bring myself to speak them out. I feel a bit trapped-in. The result is silence or a slow-witted response.
Still, the wedding happens tomorrow. That's the reason we're all here, after all. It will be grand, I'm sure. Plus this time, there's a relatively low chance of anyone asking me when it'll be my turn. They're all gradually cottoning on to the probability that the game has gone on without me.
I caught a glimpse of myself as I washed up the cups tonight. A greying head of hair shimmered back in the kitchen-window reflection. I'm not that old on the inside, you know.
I'm really not.
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