LOW MOOD

You might have noticed that the natural cycle of things has taken me back into a low mood. That's the best way I can describe it, a 'low mood' as though the lights have been dimmed and everything is faded into a dusky sort of obscurity.

I am sorry about that. I know I should be all humour and poems and upbeat positivity, but for reasons I can't explain, I'm just not that guy at the moment. My self-confidence is seeping away and I'm more of a shadow, really.

It won't last though. I know that much. But just as you can't hide a volcano, it's tough to hide away your own miserable face from the world too, until the sun comes out again.

So, what is this? Can I do what all those practical people suggest and 'pull myself together'? Or is this deeper, more fundamental: some dodgy wiring or a short circuit in my chemicals somewhere? I don't know.

I think I need to go away for a week, take in some air and pray and fast. I just can't do that with my diary though, not at the moment. Plus I don't really know where to go. It feels like all my energy is given to wrestling the invisible stalker who pins me down every now and again. He pounces on the low mood and growls untruths into my ear.

Anyway, you don't want to hear all that. You want to hear the story my sister told me about a dentist who went bonkers, or how I accidentally inhaled paraffin and felt a bit light-headed. Perhaps you want to hear about my woeful attempts to recruit a Japanese translator or how I failed to diffuse a heated debate about the European Union at tonight's choir team meeting.

I think I just want to go to sleep and magically wake up happy.

That'd be alright.