THE APOSTROPHOPLURALISER

I had to sit through a meeting this morning in which the presenter had written out all his plurals with an apostrophe. Every slide...

Renewal's

Acquisition's

MTA's

RTM's

Revenue's

Income's

I shuddered in my seat, with a certain recoiling pomposity. Never use an apostrophopluraliser! You can't turn a singular noun into a plural with an apostrophe - not for decades (60s and 70s) not for acronyms (GCSEs), and definitely not for fully written words (Renewals, Acquisitions, Revenues)... 

Sure, it's okay as a possessive (The renewal's date had been set in the 60s)... but not just to turn a single thing into more-than-one thing! Don't do it!

I looked around uncomfortably to see whether anyone else had been riled by it. They were all glumly focused on the content, it seemed. I made a face and folded my arms as if to make a subtle point.

My phone buzzed in my pocket. I sneakily took a look. Emmie (currently in Toronto) asked me how Monday was going. I quickly tapped out that I was 'okay' and in the middle of a long presentation, and then I sent it.

Then something really weird happened. I suddenly remembered Rachel talking yesterday about how to manage our bad attitudes. It just popped in to my head - a sermon in church from only twenty four hours ago. There it was, ringing silently. We all get attitudes sometimes. Don't be afraid to deal with them when you see them.

Okay. I get the message. I let the nefarious apostrophopluraliser go. What does it matter anyway? It's wrong, distracting and embarrassing but it's not for me to get stewed up about.

My phone buzzed again. It was Emmie.

"A preentation eh?" she'd written. "Sounds good!" She'd followed it up with a cheeky smiley emoji.

I checked back. Yep. I had sent her a typo... in the middle of lamenting someone about else's grammar. Brilliant.