There was a TV discussion today. It started with the news that Samsung are bringing out a 146-inch telly. I knew where it was going to end, this conversation, so I prepared my list of statable reasons why I don't have a television set, ready for the onslaught of questions.
Sure enough, we got there.
"Have you ever thought about joining the Amish?" asked Erica, jokingly at the end of my list. I must admit (and it's not for the first time) that there is something quite appealing about pretending it's still 1746, and living off the land. I imagined what it would be like to lie on a hay-bale at night, gazing up at those perfect stars in a midwestern sky; or stepping into a timber-beamed hut on a sweltering day, setting down my hat and wiping my brow with a hankie, ready for a glass of old-fashioned lemonade.
I've already got the Jewish name too. I'd be Brother Matthew, who hast forsaken his old life in England, in pursuit of the simplicity of the Lord's work amen and thanks be to God.
I told Erica that I didn't think I'd last very long. They're very insular, the Amish and it's tricky to meet new people in the backwaters of the Eighteenth Century. Plus, it's tough to find work as a technical author in a community that has foregone the use of anything technical.
Why is anyone out there buying 146-inch TVs anyway? That is way too big for a normal-sized room, and if you had a wall large enough for such a monstrous screen, you'd have to sit far away from it to stop it blistering your retinas, wouldn't you? And therefore, what would be the point? Get a smaller one and sit closer.
You can see I'm not really a TV person. I told my colleagues I prefer a book and the radio - though as you know already, it seems my current main hobby is of course, by default, washing the dishes.
"It won't be long before Matt's twisting out the light bulbs and lighting candles instead," said someone from a different desk. My mind flicked back to the other night when I had lit the oil lamp and watched the flame happily dance in the quiet darkness of the room.
Maybe I would fit in with the Amish.
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