THE FOUR STAGES OF LOSING THINGS: PART 2

I lost my keys again tonight. This time, I was very conscious of the four stages of losing things: puzzlement, panic, prayer and pragmatism.

It occurred to me that the speed at which stage one (Puzzlement) turns to stage two (Panic) depends on a few simple factors: necessity, time, value, and personal importance. If I really need the thing I've lost, if I'm already late for a thing I'm supposed to be at, if the thing I've lost is valuable, and if it happens to also be irreplaceable, then Puzzlement turns to Panic within a matter of seconds.

I tried all the usual places. They weren't in my coat pockets. That was mystifying because I remember coming in with two bags of shopping and a copy of The Lego Batman Movie under my arm. I had no hands free to dump my keys anywhere when I'd closed the front door behind me with a trailing foot.

They weren't in yesterday's jeans either. That's always a classic for keys. Not today though. Neither were they hanging up on the key hooks - yes, I have key hooks. Unhelpfully, I seem to be using them to hang up my oven gloves and a corkscrew, rather than my actual keys. I lamented the fact that I don't seem to be able to use th key hooks for the noble purpose that was in my mind when I stuck them to the kitchen wall.

I was late. My watch gave away what time it was by angrily bleeping at me. Puzzlement, which is usually noted by me, saying, "Well that's just really weird," was quickly slipping into Panic, and I was accelerating towards stage two.

That reminds me: I lost my car the other night.

This is actually a good example of those four factors (necessity, time, value, personal importance) working together: I walked half-way down the street, expecting to find it where I'd parked it late the night before when all the good parking spaces had been taken up. But the street was quite empty, and there was no sign of my car! Puzzlement kicked in, of course. But Panic didn't follow. Necessity? I did need my car at that point, yes, so that counts. Time? Nope, wasn't late for anything, so that's a zero. Value? Yes, highly valuable and annoying if lost or stolen. Personal importance? Well, it isn't technically irreplaceable. So 2/4. It wasn't enough to subconsciously trigger Panic, but I was square in the horns of stage one. And standing in the street scratching my head.

I had of course, parked it somewhere else and forgotten. It was closer to the house, but not somewhere I'd usually put it. As soon as I bleeped my key, the street lit up with two short orange flashes and the mystery was solved.

I did get to stage three (Prayer) with the keys. I sat on the top stair and asked God to help me find my keys. It wasn't easy though - I was amazed at how much I resisted doing that tonight, as though I was more likely to find them by continuing to turn everything upside down and fly from room to room like a wide-eyed wildebeest.

It may well be that the transition between stage two and three (from Panic to Prayer) is the hardest of all! You have to let go of your own solution, admit defeat and surrender. That has never been easy.

I quivered on the stairs, trying to clear my mind of all the possible locations my keys could have been hiding, reminding myself that I 'let myself in, so they have to be here somewhere.' Then I prayed one of those simple, level-headed prayers as though I were a child on the naughty step.

I found them moments later. They'd fallen out of my coat, down the back of a chair. I whooped a thank you into the air, swept up my coat and headed out.