MY LEAST FAVOURITE FACIAL EXPRESSION

Would you like to know the facial expression I like the least? I’m going to tell you anyway, even while you contemplate what kind of a person thinks about ranking facial expressions.

It’s the rolling of the eyes.

“Here we go again,” it says, dismissively. “No need to listen to this because it’s the same-old boring nonsense he/she always pipes in.”

And often it might be. And occasionally this reaction is funny. But in my view, tutting and the rolling of the eyes is the unkindest way of telling someone that we’re not interested in listening to them. It’s a lazy shorthand sign that we don’t even value them enough to actually say that. And I don’t like it.

I don’t like it because I think everyone has something to teach us, and everyone, from the youngest to the oldest deserves the respect that comes with listening.

But of course, it doesn’t take rocket science to work out what I’m really saying, does it? It isn’t brain surgery to read the subtext. I mean I’m clearly talking about me, aren’t I?

‘Everyone should listen to me’ is what I’m actually saying, ‘Because I think I’m deep and clever and interesting and important.’ There’s every chance I’ve spent 1,196 blog posts in four years, whispering exactly that between the lines... right?

Well, not intentionally. Sorry if you’ve read that. Though I would add, I’m not forcing you to read any of it. No, what I’m trying to do here is paint snapshots of who I am and what I think. I’ve never once promoted it, and anyone who found it, found it without me pestering them to read it.

While that isn’t intentional though, I do still like being listened to. Who doesn’t? And the eye-roll, the puffed-cheeks and the look of resignation are handy waivers to the right-to-be-listened-to.

So. There are a few things I’ve decided (and I am deciding) to do. One, is to retune my ability to listen. If you spend the bits where you’re not talking, thinking about what you’re going to say to the other person next, the chances are you’re not listening carefully enough either. I need to get much better at that - not just in person, but also in text. What is the real problem? Why say that? What does it mean?

The second thing I think is to actually stop when I see a hint of the rolling eyes, and say nothing at all. If you’re already defeated, there seems little point expending the energy.

And finally, I reckon I should stop pre-imagining that reaction when I’m writing.

“I lost my keys again,” I type. My brain predicts the response of emojis before I even hit send. Nothing has happened at all before I imagine the world thinks of me as a loser. It’s a subject for another day, but I think being a loser might be underrated. However, my brain does all the work and I’m attacking myself while I hunt from room-to-room.

So that is my least-favourite facial expression. And that’s my three-point plan on what to do about it. It might not work; this might all be chapter 1,197 of my compendium of nonsense, but it is where I’m at today. So if you’re reading it, shaking your head and throwing me shade with an eye-roll or two... I’d like you to note, that from now on, I don’t really care.