PLAYING ALONG WITH THE PANTO

I think the term might be ‘accompanying’ - yes, I think I’m ‘accompanying’ a pantomime.

That means I’m playing the piano for people to sing along to, during an amateur construct of stage-based theatrical entertainment that traditionally includes: a man dressed as a lady, a girl dressed as a boy, thigh-slappingly unfunny jokes, cringeworthy audience participation, a loose story line, and cartoon-like overacting.

That’s about right, fellow Brits, isn’t it? A sort of animated Victorian seaside postcard of a thing?*

Anyway, I’m playing along for this one. We had a rehearsal tonight, and as I sat there behind the piano, lit by the soft tones of an angle-poise lamp, I wondered whether anyone had ever thought of writing a pantomime about organising a pantomime - because it occurred to me that it is ripe for the taking.

This one’s based on Peter Pan - an Edwardian story of children who learn about growing up from a mischievous imp and his sparkly fairy, by pushing a sea captain off his boat while Native Americans do battle with soft-headed pirates. At the end, Wendy and the boys fly back to London with thirty straggly orphans... and the mother (instead of commenting on them all er, flying) says:

“Well done, I’m very proud of you, of course we’ll look after them.”

At which, I’m ashamed to say, I chortled out loud with incredulity, from the lamp-lit pianoforte. Typical - the least funny line in the whole thing! I think I might need to be a lot less grown up to get what JM Barrie was doing, capturing the wonder and magic of childhood. That is after all, his whole point, and essentially the point of pantomime, isn’t it? Other than provincial theatres raising enough money to put on the rest of their annual fare of loss-making hard-hitting dramas and plays.

It’ll all come together, the panto. And it’ll be most enjoyable. I played all the notes at the right cue, and mostly in the right order, so that was good. I think they were happy with my clunky old playing, so that’s also a win.

All I’ve got to do next is remember to laugh in the places  that are supposed to be funny, and not the ones that actually are by accident. That might be tricky.

*Well done if you said ‘oh no it isn’t’ but minus points if you actually said it out loud.