THE POWER OF OWNING AN INCIDENT

You know what I think is a shame? Well lots of things, but specifically today, that there are no more accidents.

Matt. That is a weird way to start a blog post.

Yes brain. Yes it is. But what I mean is that ‘accidents’ have become ‘incidents’ - and somehow or other, an incident means that there is fault, and there is blame. And therefore, somebody somewhere has to say sorry for something.

Only, one person demanding an apology is often met with the equal and opposite force of someone far-removed who just can’t give them that apology, for legal reasons, and so no real ‘sorry’ ensues. Because owning a mistake is also becoming culpable for it, and that can be stupendously expensive.

See. It’s a shame. Generations grow up in this new culture, where apologies are admissions of weakness and guilt, and so you can’t ever give one - even if you know what you did, and so do they.

But! If you need one, it hurts when you don’t get it, doesn’t it? That’s because that vulnerable moment of confession, repentance, culpability, whatever you call it, is so powerful at bringing people together, rather than pushing us apart. And wired into us, like source code, is the fact that we fear separation the most. It’s painful to drift from that lack of connection.

‘I am sorry’ means that my actions have hurt you, and that has made me sorrowful. It’s not about the object, but it is about the person, and the way we’re bound together. Sorry really matters. Putting it right is so important.

I’m not saying all this because I need an apology, or I need to give one. I think I’m just reflecting on some of the reasons why the world keeps wanting to pull itself apart. I’m also not great at this - sorry really does seem to be the hardest word, but I’d like to get better at using it. After all, I cause incidents all the time.

If we can teach young people the power of this in the face of a world that doesn’t understand it, I reckon we can do some serious good. President Business is probably never going to apologise for anything. Okay. That’s his problem. The tax dodging behemoths who sell us coffee and computers, they’re not going to say sorry. Neither are the fat cats who pump poison into the skies, or force poor people to choose between health and poverty. They will have to answer one day.

But you’re responsible for you. So if you’re at the root of an incident, or something you do, or don’t do, causes an accident, maybe show the world how to bring people together. It’ll cost us. Yes, yes it will. But if we can bring people together... it’ll be worth it, right?

Gulp.